In this week’s blog I wanted to talk about depression: what it is, what it isn’t, and how understanding it from a particular perspective can help you to live a richer, juicier and more meaningful life.
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Many women experience depression and turn to a variety of coping mechanisms to pick themselves up and keep themselves going, including medication, exercise and therapy to name a few. Many of them live busy lives, work full-time, have families to take care of and mortgages to pay, and they don’t feel they have time to fall into a heap so they just do what they can do to get through. This can go on for many years, and some feel like they are barely keeping their heads above water at times.
Of course, depression impacts on everything in their lives from their work to their relationships, their physical health and their self-esteem, which in turn impacts on the depression and a cycle is created that is seemingly only ever heading in one direction – downward. Life becomes a battle on every level and it is beyond difficult to sustain any level of happiness in these conditions.
Today I want to give you a new understanding of depression with the view to changing the way in which you see yourself in relation to it, and then I am going to give you what I think are the 5 most important, and most empowering questions you need to ask yourself if you want a richer, juicier experience of life.
Depression is not something you catch or something you wake up with but rather something you move in and out of. It is a state of being. In fact, everything is a state of being if you think about it which might be why we are called human beings. Diabetes is a physical state of being. Grief is an emotional state of being. Autism is a physical state of being. There is no one way to be in a state of depression just as there is no one way to be autistic. These are all potentially the sum total of where you are at in every area of your life and each one affects the other areas of your life.
“Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say.”
~ Carl Jung
So, if you want to change your current state of being, you need to change what’s creating it, feeding it and sustaining it.
Where you are at physically + where you are at mentally + where you are at emotionally + where you are at spiritually + where you are at geographically + where you are at financially + your genetic predisposition + your programming + how you feel about where you are at = where you are at now.
Every single factor in the formula above is a variable because within each of them there are potentially an infinite number of possible states, and as a result, the outcome, the state of being or the way in which you are experiencing this present moment is also a variable and not set in concrete. By changing anything in the formula above you will change where you are at in the present moment. It is impossible not to. Which makes me wonder, is depression less of a destination and more of a signpost asking us to stop, look and listen to ourselves because something isn’t feeling right?
Which leads me to what I believe are 5 really important questions you need to ask yourself if you are depressed but want to live a richer, juicier life. There are no hard and fast answers to these and some of your answers might not come straight away. But some might, and they might just give you enough insight to change your experience today. Now.
WARNING: Some people might find these confronting.
Question #1: Who are you giving your power to?
Who told you that you couldn’t be happy? Who in your life would be most offended if you were happy and successful and full of joy? Who’s permission are you waiting for?
Question #2: Where are you not being authentic?
Where are you not speaking up for yourself for fear of causing waves or disturbing the peace? Where are you being quiet or submissive? Where are you putting up with something you don’t believe in, want or agree with? What are your values? What really matters to you and how much of your life is being spent living by a set of values that belong to someone else?
Question #3: What are you getting out of being depressed?
What is the pay off or the advantage of being depressed? What stops you from doing whatever it takes to be happy? What need is your depression trying to fill for you?
Question #4: Under what circumstances would your current state of being be acceptable?
What would it take for you to be ok with yourself exactly where you are and function adequately at the same time?
Question #5: What do you need now?
If you did decide to change your state of being, what could you change? Most people with depression know exactly what they should be doing to do to pick themselves up. I have always said that there is no such thing as laziness, only varying degrees of motivation and I believe the same principle could be applied to depression. So what can you do? Where can you start? Every little positive change will decrease the degree of depression and increase your degree of happiness.
I really encourage you to take some time to ask yourself these questions and listen to the answers that come to you. You might be surprised to learn something new about yourself and it might make a world of difference to you.
Important Links for creating a Juicy Life in 2016
If you want to know more about Holistic Counselling and Relationship Coaching follow this link:
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I look forward to working with you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life in 2016