Valentine’s Day and The Measure Of A Man Part II

Last week some of us celebrated Valentine’s Day, and while many of us were enjoying flowers and chocolates and other traditionally romantic gestures, we were blissfully unaware that an increased number of AVO and DVO breaches were taking place.

Now I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble.  I am all for celebrating love whenever and wherever possible and I myself am still enjoying the scent of the most beautiful bunch of flowers thanks to my thoughtful and loving husband, but knowing how crazy Valentine’s Day makes some people inspired me to want to write more about how we develop emotionally and explore what it might take to change what has become a culture of domestic violence.

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How Is Your Relationship With You?

I have had so much going on in my life of late and I have been doing a bit of travel which is always exciting and I love it, but it tends to take me out of my routine and out of my comfort zone which in turn can take me away from myself because I become so outward focused.

This then leads me to feeling disconnected, anxious and lonely and while it still amazes me that I can feel lonely when I am surrounded by lots of people, that is what happens.

So, as I take time out to reconnect with myself today, I am wondering how many other women are so busy in their lives that they feel disconnected, anxious and lonely.

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How many have lost touch with who they are, what they really want and where they really want to go because they are still busily following the directions they – or life – set for them a long time ago.  Perhaps even years or a lifetime ago.

So this blog is all about emotionally recalibrating.  Just like a GPS when you take an unexpected turn, you can very quickly re-evaluate your position and get back on track so that the way you are living isn’t at the cost of your relationship with you.  Continue reading

What’s your emotional set point?

Today I want to talk about something I have been considering for quite a while and that is whether or not we establish an unconscious emotional set point in our childhood and whether or not we naturally return to that set point when as adults we forget to regularly do the things we know we must do in order to keep well and happy?

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I am asking this for those who spend a lot of their time, sometimes successfully and sometimes unsuccessfully – trying to keep anxiety, depression or low self-esteem at bay, and especially for those who feel like they are constantly fighting to keep their head above water, emotionally speaking.

I am also asking this question for those who feel like they have Dr Jekyll and Mrs Hyde living in their bodies and don’t feel like they have a lot of control over who shows up from day to day. Continue reading

Two Things That Will Get You Through The Toughest Times

A rich, juicy life is not a perfect life. It’s a flawed life with a side of courage, determination and optimism.  It has drama and it has losses but it also has successes.  What makes it unique is you.  You determine who you are going to be and how you are going to experience what life delivers to you.

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I don’t know what challenges you might be facing right now but life likes to deliver a variety of challenges to us all.  You might be going through a marriage breakup, you might have a defiant teen who seems determined to self-destruct, or you might be caring for someone who is terminally ill.  You might even be dealing with all three of those things at once. Continue reading

How to find out if you are living in an illusion

I know I said my last blog would be my last blog for the year but something happened in my community this week that has inspired me to write another one and it’s one that I think is very, very important.

Last week’s blog was all about creating space for the life and the love that you want to experience for yourself in 2017 and there are 9 great steps that you can take that will help you to realise what you want providing all goes to plan.

What I didn’t say in that blog, however, was this:  Control is an absolute illusion.

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9 Ways To Make Space For Love In 2017

In my last blog for 2016 I want to share some insights into where to start when it comes to creating the life you really want in 2017.

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Personally, I have had an amazing year this year and a large part of that is because I have loved this blogging journey, writing regularly for you and hearing your thoughts about what I have shared about living a richer, juicier life.  It has enriched my life and brought me great joy for which I am very grateful.

The clearest message I have received from you however has been that for you, living a richer, juicier life is all about having lots of rich, juicy love in your life, whether that be self-love, love from a significant other, or love from friends and family.

You have made it abundantly clear to me that without love in your life, it just can’t be rich and juicy, and I agree wholeheartedly with that. Continue reading

If you can’t say something nice(ly) don’t say anything at all…and 9 other rules for maintaining healthy relationships

In today’s blog I want to talk about healthy communication and give you 10 rules that will make a positive difference to the way in which you experience challenging discussions.

CLICK HERE NOW if you prefer to listen to My Juicy Life Episode 22

Because I work with lots of couples, and because they are usually in a lot of pain by the time they get to me, they have often reached a point in their communication where they are short-cutting the process and going straight from “We need to talk” to yelling profanities at each other.  They have forgotten – or given up on – how to have a genuine conversation about the things that matter to them and as a result they feel like they are not having any success.

There seems to be a forgone conclusion that there is no point in trying to have a reasonable discussion because in the past one or both of the partners has felt unheard, disrespected, judged, unimportant, unloved and even resented or hated.  Often that has been the consensus for some time so a pattern of unsuccessful communication has been well and truly entrenched.

Today I want to remind – and in some cases educate – couples that it doesn’t have to be this way.  There is a way to build or re-build a healthy relationship simply by insisting on raising the standard of communication between you.  Once the basic communication between a couple is healthy their issues are often dealt with quite quickly. Continue reading

The Art of Confession or How To Increase Your Chances of Getting What You Want More Often

In my book 6 Keys To Happiness I write about something I call The Art Of Confession and I want to talk about how important this is in this week’s blog.

So many women that I know have difficulty sharing their innermost feelings and asking for what they need and many more feel that they are constantly being let down and disappointed by the people in their lives when they do take a chance and reach out.

This leaves many feeling disappointed, overwhelmed, isolated and sometimes angry because they don’t often ask for help and many feel the spend a lot of their time helping others so how come no one is helping them when they really need it.

Does this sound like a familiar tune? Continue reading

How To Adult

Today I want to talk about Adulting – what is it, how to do it, how to teach your children to do it and why it is particularly difficult for co-dependents to do.

This blog is for women who struggle with life, or aspects of it, including relationships or parenting , curbing bad habits or managing challenging behaviours – your own or others.

CLICK HERE NOW if you prefer to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast Episode 20: How To Adult

I want to explain how you might find yourself in circumstances that range from less than ideal to downright dangerous and possibly even out of control. Those circumstances might include finding yourself in an abusive relationship, constantly fighting with your children, struggling to manage your child’s behaviours, struggling to manage your own behaviours, getting in over your head financially, struggling with health issues, having trouble keeping a job. Continue reading

What does Co-dependency and our childhood safety needs have to do with anxiety and depression later in life?

Many of you have probably heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and some of you might even be able to tell me what those needs are, and where you’re at in relation to them, but I am betting that many of you who live with anxiety and depression won’t understand how being raised in a home of co-dependents might lead to you not having your safety needs met as a child and how that contributes directly but sneakily to any anxiety or depression you might be experiencing today.

Today’s blog is particularly for women who experience seemingly unexplained bouts of depression, or high anxiety levels at the most inconvenient and seemingly unwarranted times, and if you are one of those women, I want to help you understand how co-dependency and the unconsciously inadequate parenting your probably received through your childhood might be causing you pain. Continue reading