Sacred Days or What Is Resilience and Why Do You Need To Get Yourself Some? Part IV

Do you take Sacred Days for yourself?

Also known as Mental Health Days, Sacred Days are just like holidays (what used to be Holy days) only they aren’t public holidays.  They are very personal and they only hold meaning for you.

It might be the anniversary of a special occasion or event that was important to you.  That event could be a birth, a marriage, a divorce or the death of a loved one.  It could also mark the end of a particularly difficult time in your life such as a serious illness, a significant change of direction in your life that holds great meaning to you, or it might mark the beginning of a new and significant phase in your life – a turning point.

Because we are all so busy today, we often don’t allow ourselves the time and space we need to truly process the emotional implications of the various events in our lives.  This leaves us with a lot of unresolved feelings from the past that build and build until we are so full that the tiniest little upset can tip us over the edge and make it virtually impossible for us to manage ourselves and our feelings in a functional manner in the present.

This is not a good place to be in, emotionally speaking, and it is a long way from being resilient.  Yet some people live most of their lives “full” of unresolved feelings and they have difficulty not taking things personally.

Being resilient means having the capacity to manage life’s challenges appropriately, and being able to bounce back quickly when we are challenged.

Being resilient is about knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are, understanding and acknowledging your needs, and ensuring those needs are adequately met so that most of your energy is available to you in the any given moment.

Being resilient is also about being prepared – having an exit plan, a pre-determined escape route or an outlet that keeps you functioning adequately while you are being challenged.

Taking Sacred Days then becomes a healthy way of making sure we acknowledge and honour our need to process the big events and feelings in life, and a great way of making sure we make space to process them.

Today is a Sacred Day for me.  It is the fourth anniversary of my father’s passing and I choose not to work on this date because I need to honour that place in me that still needs to rest and heal and grieve for him.  As long as I am able I will always keep this space for me and for him.

My Beautiful Dad

My Beautiful Dad

I visited the crematorium this morning where his remains are and I placed flowers on his grave.  I spoke with him for a little while, and even though I know he’s not there, I needed to connect with him there, and I needed to give myself permission to have my feelings.

Everything I have done on this Sacred Day, I have done with patience and love and in as much silence as possible.  No TV, no background noise, not too much activity.  I made sure I connected in meaningful ways with people who are important to me and in the process of all this, I simply felt my feelings and allowed them to be whatever they needed to be.

Do you have particular days or dates that you need to make Sacred?

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