Boundaries are without a doubt one of the greatest challenges for the people I see in my practice and they were a challenge for me until I was in my early 40s so I love exploring this topic and working with others to understand them and set them in place in their lives. Continue reading
I have had so much going on in my life of late and I have been doing a bit of travel which is always exciting and I love it, but it tends to take me out of my routine and out of my comfort zone which in turn can take me away from myself because I become so outward focused.
This then leads me to feeling disconnected, anxious and lonely and while it still amazes me that I can feel lonely when I am surrounded by lots of people, that is what happens.
So, as I take time out to reconnect with myself today, I am wondering how many other women are so busy in their lives that they feel disconnected, anxious and lonely.
How many have lost touch with who they are, what they really want and where they really want to go because they are still busily following the directions they – or life – set for them a long time ago. Perhaps even years or a lifetime ago.
So this blog is all about emotionally recalibrating. Just like a GPS when you take an unexpected turn, you can very quickly re-evaluate your position and get back on track so that the way you are living isn’t at the cost of your relationship with you. Continue reading
In today’s blog I am asking the question: How important is spirituality to a rich, juicy life?
Now most of my readership is made up of women and it is not too difficult, as a general rule, to get a good discussion going about spirituality and explore the impact it has on us girls.
In this day and age however, I might lean toward thinking that our male population might benefit more from exploring this topic than our female population, but whether you are a male or a female, it is definitely something worth exploring if you want to know what it’s like to live a richer, juicier life.
Why? Because a rich, juicy life has depth and it has purpose or meaning. While spirituality, on the other hand, answers the age old question we seem to ask in our darkest hours which is ‘what’s it all about’?
And, because in the words of Socrates, ‘the unexplored life is not worth living’.
So today’s blog is all about getting you thinking and helping you to find the right answer to this question for yourself. Continue reading
After my last blog about reducing stress, MEDITATION seemed like the most natural topic to follow up with.
NB: If you don’t have time to read or prefer to listen to this then click on the SoundCloud button and it will take you to the audio version.
There is an old Zen saying that goes like this: You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you are too busy; then you should sit for an hour.
I love it. Anyone who has practiced meditation for any length of time will know the wisdom in this and while it sounds ridiculous, there is an unexplainable yet undeniable truth that not meditating for 20 minutes a day is actually making your life more hectic than you realise. Continue reading
Today I want to talk about your inner child. The one that carried you from birth and delivered you in to adulthood. The one that often waits patiently for you to pay attention to her while you play adults with your friends and family.
NB: If you don’t have time to read or prefer to listen to it click on the SoundCloud button now and it will take you to the audio version.
I know you are busy and you might even think that this inner child stuff is selfish, self-indulgent and a waste of valuable time, but I am here to tell you that the more you believe that, the more you probably need to listen because you are in denial and seriously at risk of self-rejection and a deep sense of loneliness and abandonment that you can’t quite put your finger on in order to heal.
In fact, if you live with any degree of anxiety, depression, self-doubt, low self-esteem, if you are sensitive and easily hurt, if you feel like you can’t control your emotions at times, if you struggle to manage your appetite or if you have addictions of any kind, and if you throw wobblies – yes I mean tantrums – when you don’t get your way, then you have an inner child that requires some serious attention and you will be amazed at how different you will feel when you give in and indulge her with some quality time and attention.
Every moment of your life through to adulthood produced a new version of you. There is you when you were one, you when you were two, you when you were three and so on. There is also you when you were yelled at by your dad, and you when you were disappointed and let down by your mum, there is you when you were pushed over by a kid at school and you when your best friend called you a loser and walked off with someone else. There is you when your uncle looked at you in a lustful way that made you feel like you’d done something wrong, and you when your first boyfriend told you that you were too clingy and emotional before he promptly moved on to someone else. Sadly, for some of you there are versions of you that are much more hurt and damaged and they are in a lot of pain. There are without a doubt many versions of you that you pushed to the side and chose to ignore or reject because someone else told you that that particular version of you wasn’t lovable or desirable or deserving of love and you didn’t know any different at the time.
Where this all becomes a problem for you is when you have a long list of little versions of you lined up looking for resolution and forgiveness and understanding and love, and the need for those things does not go away just because you have labelled that part of yourself as a sook or a princess and then told yourself to have a cup of concrete.
Resolution comes from developing the type of relationship with yourself and your inner child that instils a deep sense of trust in yourself and you can do that by following four simple steps which I promise will not only help you to have a richer, juicier life, but will actually give you more time and energy because you are not spending so much time resisting yourself.
What are those four steps?
- First you have to acknowledge that something isn’t right and that you need to take some time out to explore what is going on inside
- Then you have to ask yourself what part of you needs your attention most right now
- Once you have established what version of you that you are talking to, ask her what her pain is and what she needs from you right now. Listen to her answer
- And finally, make a commitment to yourself to do your best to make it right for her, and make sure you follow through on that commitment
We cannot change the past. But we can change the way we feel about ourselves in relation to the past and to specific events.
In these four steps you have acknowledged yourself, validated your feelings by listenning, found out what the underlying need is and made a promise to make it right to the best of your ability. It is no different to the relationships you have with others. The more you follow these steps, and follow through on your promises to yourself, the stronger your relationship is going to become. Chances are that if you have had anxiety and depression for much of your life, it’s because no one has consistently been there for you, and no one has shown you how to be there for yourself. You haven’t experienced security in your life or people took advantage of your vulnerability, so changing your relationship with yourself in this way will change all of that for you.
I have conducted so many inner child workshops for individuals and it is without a doubt the work I love most of all. Watching someone come face to face with their whole selves (pain and all), and watching them make the promise to be there for themselves in the future, never to ignore or abandon themselves ever again, is such a healing and beautiful connection to witness.
Life cannot be the same ever again. It has to be richer, deeper, juicier and more meaningful because in the place of rejection there is now love and acceptance, understanding and forgiveness. Through this process a fractured person becomes whole and now has a new benchmark for their relationship with their self and with others.
Please watch this video of these beautiful and talented young ladies, India and Ella (who just happen to be friends with my son) singing Little Me and make the commitment to yourself to be there for you from now on. If you feel inclined, journal what you would like to say to your “Little Me”. What does she need to hear from you right now? What do you need her to hear?
And if you would like more information about an Inner Child Session please contact me here.
I am looking forward to working with you, for you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life in 2016
If you want to jump start your Juicy Life join me on a 21 Day Body Love Challenge starting on Tuesday February 15th.
Go here to get the details and message me if you want any more information.
Important links for a Juicy Life in 2016:
Buy My Juicy Life Journals
We are a couple of weeks into the Heal Your Life classes now and so far they’ve been pretty powerful. We’ve already covered a fair range of concepts and ideas, the most prevalent of which seems to be the importance of opening up to change.
Were you aware that if you are not moving forward in your life then you must be moving backward? There is no such thing as standing still. Standing still is stagnating, and stagnating is the same as moving backward.
We’ve discussed Nasa’s definition of life, which is ‘anything that actively fights its own entropy’, and how important it is to make conscious moves forward in every area of our lives simply to maintain it, let alone improve it.
We’ve explored Neale Donald Walsh’s statement that ‘life begins at the end of your comfort zone’ and how exciting life is when we are on the precipice of new adventures.
We’ve explored the idea that it is safe to change and that we can choose which doors to close and which doors to open in life.
We’ve meditated and explored the world within where our truth resides, and then we explored the possibilities of opening up our hearts and our schedules to regular meditation and the positive impact that change can only have on our lives.
We’ve had heart to hearts with ourselves and put pen to paper in our journals and on our worksheets to uncover those areas of our lives that need some attention, and to determine what we needed most in each of those areas.
And finally we have connected with the others in the group who are also exploring new territory, by sharing some of our thoughts, ideas and experiences.
Change can be scary, but it can be awesome too. And since it is inevitable, I vote that we throw ourselves into it and focus our thoughts on the wonderful possibilities associated with the changes that we are making.
Let’s really live our lives all the way to the finish line.
I saw this beautiful clip and had to share it with you:
Inside every woman there is a little girl who knows exactly how sacred she is. Get in touch with her this Christmas and let her rule your thoughts and actions for a day.
Everyone has “stuff” to deal with. We can’t often tell from the outside what’s going on inside someone, but you could safely say that most of us struggle with feelings of not being good enough to varying degrees.
In this beautiful movie, Louise Hay shows us how being willing to change is a great place to start in changing our lives for the better. It all starts with taking the first step.
If you think that maybe you’d like to change and that you’d be willing to change, get your hands on your very own copy of You Can Heal Your Life. You’ll know what to do next.