3 Powerful Ways To Reduce Your Stress Levels That You Probably Haven’t Considered Before

Today I am asking the question: can you be busy and Zen at the same time?  And I say “Yes you can”.

CLICK HERE NOW to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast #6: 3 Powerful and Unconventional Ways To Reduce Stress

CLICK HERE NOW to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast #6: 3 Powerful and Unconventional Ways To Reduce Stress

 

NB:  If you don’t have time to read or prefer to listen to this click on the SoundCloud button now and it will take you to the audio version.

Are you a working mum who is constantly juggling work, children, home and other commitments? Are you feeling tired, stressed, overworked, underpaid, overloaded, underappreciated? If this sounds like you, hang in there because I am about to give you three full-proof strategies that will take your stress levels from ten to Zen in next to no time. I am talking about three steps that you can take action on straight away that will not only reduce your stress levels in the moment but will continue to reduce your stress levels over time.

When most people talk about reducing stress, they often talk about the importance of breathing correctly, relaxing the muscles and returning the body to the relaxed response through meditation or yoga, and I have to agree that these are among the most important things we can do to reduce stress and maintain a healthy balance in our bodies and in our lives.

I am going to address some of the things that cause stress in the first place, however, and you might be surprised by what they are.

  1. Drop the Drama

Drama is like pepper.  It is meant to add spice to your life not fill your whole plate.

The first thing you can do to reduce your stress levels is drop the drama you have attached to the items on your To Do List.

Believe it or not, it is never the ‘things’ on our lists that cause us stress.  It is the thoughts and feelings we have about those ‘things’ that cause us stress and many of us can get caught up in the stories we create around those ‘things’.

I am talking about letting go of negative thoughts like “this is going to be so hard”, “this is going to take forever”, “nobody ever helps me”, “I can’t do this by myself”, all of which create feelings of hardship and loneliness.

The first thing we have to do is make a decision to let the drama go.  Drama can be addictive.  It can feel exciting and make us feel important and special.  We often cause our own drama by leaving things to the last minute, being late, being unprepared, forgetting things and rushing around.

The second thing we have to do is learn the difference between fact and fiction. For example, “I have lots to do” might be a fact.  “I am going to die if I don’t get it all done.” is more than likely fiction and there can be a whole lot of drama and negative emotion around the fiction.  It is an exaggeration – a story – and the more we tell it to ourselves and even voice it to others, the more stressed we become.

Once we learn to differentiate between fact and fiction, we can then choose not to be drawn in to our own negative stories.  Do they help?  Do they make it easier for us to get things done? No they don’t.  All they do is draw our valuable time and energy away from the things that need our attention most.

  1. Stop Shoulding

Every time you start a thought or sentence with “I should…” it is like stepping on to your own back, becoming your own jockey and cracking the whip.

Another powerful way to reduce stress is to stop shoulding.  I do not know a woman who doesn’t have a list of shoulds stored carefully in the back of her mind ready for her to pull out and use against herself at any given moment.

The fact of the matter is that shoulding is debilitating.  It highlights lack, inadequacy and limitation and it brings about feelings of disappointment and worthlessness at least, self-hatred and a need to self-punish at worst.  How can that not cause us stress?

Shoulding was brought to my awareness by the author and publisher Louise L Hay in her best-selling book You Can Heal Your Life.  It is nothing more than thinking and talking about who you should be, what you should be doing and what you should have that you aren’t already, don’t already have and haven’t already obtained.

“I should be slimmer, I should be smarter, I should work harder, I should give more, I should have a better home, I should have a nicer car,” etc.  You know how the conversation goes.

The best way to stop shoulding is to get that list out of the back of your mind and put it on to paper, replace the word should with could and then decide whether you will or won’t.

  1. Don’t Serve Your Children. Teach Them Independence.

When I serve my children I disempower them and I make a rod for my own back.

There are many reasons why teaching independence is so important including less stress for you and a healthier self-esteem for each of your children.

When my children were younger, I did as my mother did (and her mother I suspect) and I did everything for my children.  It was, after all, my job as their mother.  At least I thought it was, until someone told me a different truth and helped me to view this parenting thing from a different perspective.

Our job as parents is to teach independence.

When I don’t give my children the opportunity to learn to do things for themselves, I am unconsciously telling them that I don’t believe they are capable.  I am also robbing them of the opportunity to build self-esteem in the only way it can truly be built – by seeing with their own eyes what they are capable of.

I am talking about teaching your children do things for themselves and for others around the home from the earliest age possible, instead of stepping in and doing everything yourself because you might be quicker or better at doing it.

The way in which we do this is by taking the time to evaluate what our children can be doing for themselves right now and then going about teaching them the skills they need to succeed in those tasks.  This takes time and it takes patience but in the long run it will mean less demand for your time and energy and a happier, healthier, functional family that share in the responsibilities with love.

Even if you take one of these on board your life will be less stressful and as the saying goes, prevention is far better than cure.

Important Links for creating a Juicy Life in 2016

If you want to know more about Holistic Counselling and Relationship Coaching follow this link:

Individual Counselling
Holistic Counselling and Coaching Services

If you would like to read my book 6 Keys To Happiness follow this link:

Buy 6 Keys To Happiness

I look forward to working with you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life in 2016

Is Depression a destination or a signpost telling you that you need to move in another direction? And 5 really important questions you need to ask yourself if you are depressed.

In this week’s blog I wanted to talk about depression:  what it is, what it isn’t, and how understanding it from a particular perspective can help you to live a richer, juicier and more meaningful life.

CLICK HERE NOW to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast #5 Depression: What it is, what it isn't and 5 important questions to ask yourself.

CLICK HERE NOW to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast #5 Depression: What it is, what it isn’t and 5 important questions to ask yourself.

NB:  If you don’t have time to read or prefer to listen to this click on the SoundCloud button now and it will take you to the audio version.

Many women experience depression and turn to a variety of coping mechanisms to pick themselves up and keep themselves going, including medication, exercise and therapy to name a few.  Many of them live busy lives, work full-time, have families to take care of and mortgages to pay, and they don’t feel they have time to fall into a heap so they just do what they can do to get through.  This can go on for many years, and some feel like they are barely keeping their heads above water at times.

Of course, depression impacts on everything in their lives from their work to their relationships, their physical health and their self-esteem, which in turn impacts on the depression and a cycle is created that is seemingly only ever heading in one direction – downward.  Life becomes a battle on every level and it is beyond difficult to sustain any level of happiness in these conditions.

Today I want to give you a new understanding of depression with the view to changing the way in which you see yourself in relation to it, and then I am going to give you what I think are the 5 most important, and most empowering questions you need to ask yourself if you want a richer, juicier experience of life.

Depression is not something you catch or something you wake up with but rather something you move in and out of.  It is a state of being. In fact, everything is a state of being if you think about it which might be why we are called human beings.  Diabetes is a physical state of being.  Grief is an emotional state of being.  Autism is a physical state of being.  There is no one way to be in a state of depression just as there is no one way to be autistic.  These are all potentially the sum total of where you are at in every area of your life and each one affects the other areas of your life.

“Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say.”

~ Carl Jung

So, if you want to change your current state of being, you need to change what’s creating it, feeding it and sustaining it.

Where you are at physically + where you are at mentally + where you are at emotionally + where you are at spiritually + where you are at geographically + where you are at financially + your genetic predisposition + your programming + how you feel about where you are at = where you are at now.

Every single factor in the formula above is a variable because within each of them there are potentially an infinite number of possible states, and as a result, the outcome, the state of being or the way in which you are experiencing this present moment is also a variable and not set in concrete.  By changing anything in the formula above you will change where you are at in the present moment.  It is impossible not to.  Which makes me wonder, is depression less of a destination and more of a signpost asking us to stop, look and listen to ourselves because something isn’t feeling right?

stop look listen crossing

Which leads me to what I believe are 5 really important questions you need to ask yourself if you are depressed but want to live a richer, juicier life.  There are no hard and fast answers to these and some of your answers might not come straight away.  But some might, and they might just give you enough insight to change your experience today.  Now.

WARNING:  Some people might find these confronting.

Question #1:  Who are you giving your power to?

Who told you that you couldn’t be happy?  Who in your life would be most offended if you were happy and successful and full of joy?  Who’s permission are you waiting for?

Question #2:  Where are you not being authentic?

Where are you not speaking up for yourself for fear of causing waves or disturbing the peace?  Where are you being quiet or submissive?  Where are you putting up with something you don’t believe in, want or agree with?  What are your values?  What really matters to you and how much of your life is being spent living by a set of values that belong to someone else?

Question #3:  What are you getting out of being depressed?

What is the pay off or the advantage of being depressed?  What stops you from doing whatever it takes to be happy? What need is your depression trying to fill for you?

Question #4:  Under what circumstances would your current state of being be acceptable?

What would it take for you to be ok with yourself exactly where you are and function adequately at the same time?

Question #5:  What do you need now?

If you did decide to change your state of being, what could you change? Most people with depression know exactly what they should be doing to do to pick themselves up.  I have always said that there is no such thing as laziness, only varying degrees of motivation and I believe the same principle could be applied to depression.  So what can you do?  Where can you start?  Every little positive change will decrease the degree of depression and increase your degree of happiness.

I really encourage you to take some time to ask yourself these questions and listen to the answers that come to you.  You might be surprised to learn something new about yourself and it might make a world of difference to you.

Important Links for creating a Juicy Life in 2016

If you want to know more about Holistic Counselling and Relationship Coaching follow this link:

Individual Counselling

Holistic Counselling and Coaching Services

If you would like to read my book 6 Keys To Happiness follow this link:

Buy 6 Keys To Happiness

I look forward to working with you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life in 2016

Got Baggage? Why you and your inner child need to have more than a few little chats if you want to have a rich, juicy life…and 4 steps to build a juicy relationship with yourself.

Today I want to talk about your inner child.  The one that carried you from birth and delivered you in to adulthood.  The one that often waits patiently for you to pay attention to her while you play adults with your friends and family.

CLICK HERE NOW to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast #4 Got Baggage? 4 Steps to Reconnect with Your Inner Child today.

CLICK HERE NOW to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast #4 Got Baggage? 4 Steps to Reconnect with Your Inner Child today.

NB:  If you don’t have time to read or prefer to listen to it click on the SoundCloud button now and it will take you to the audio version.

I know you are busy and you might even think that this inner child stuff is selfish, self-indulgent and a waste of valuable time, but I am here to tell you that the more you believe that, the more you probably need to listen because you are in denial and seriously at risk of self-rejection and a deep sense of loneliness and abandonment that you can’t quite put your finger on in order to heal.

In fact, if you live with any degree of anxiety, depression, self-doubt, low self-esteem, if you are sensitive and easily hurt, if you feel like you can’t control your emotions at times, if you struggle to manage your appetite or if you have addictions of any kind, and if you throw wobblies – yes I mean tantrums – when you don’t get your way, then you have an inner child that requires some serious attention and you will be amazed at how different you will feel when you give in and indulge her with some quality time and attention.

Every moment of your life through to adulthood produced a new version of you.  There is you when you were one, you when you were two, you when you were three and so on.  There is also you when you were yelled at by your dad, and you when you were disappointed and let down by your mum, there is you when you were pushed over by a kid at school and you when your best friend called you a loser and walked off with someone else.  There is you when your uncle looked at you in a lustful way that made you feel like you’d done something wrong, and you when your first boyfriend told you that you were too clingy and emotional before he promptly moved on to someone else.  Sadly, for some of you there are versions of you that are much more hurt and damaged and they are in a lot of pain.  There are without a doubt many versions of you that you pushed  to the side and chose to ignore or reject because someone else told you that that particular version of you wasn’t lovable or desirable or deserving of love and you didn’t know any different at the time.

Where this all becomes a problem for you is when you have a long list of little versions of you lined up looking for resolution and forgiveness and understanding and love, and the need for those things does not go away just because you have labelled that part of yourself as a sook or a princess and then told yourself to have a cup of concrete.

Resolution comes from developing the type of relationship with yourself and your inner child that instils a deep sense of trust in yourself and you can do that by following four simple steps which I promise will not only help you to have a richer, juicier life, but will actually give you more time and energy because you are not spending so much time resisting yourself.

What are those four steps?

  1. First you have to acknowledge that something isn’t right and that you need to take some time out to explore what is going on inside
  2. Then you have to ask yourself what part of you needs your attention most right now
  3. Once you have established what version of you that you are talking to, ask her what her pain is and what she needs from you right now.  Listen to her answer
  4. And finally, make a commitment to yourself to do your best to make it right for her, and make sure you follow through on that commitment

We cannot change the past.  But we can change the way we feel about ourselves in relation to the past and to specific events.

In these four steps you have acknowledged yourself, validated your feelings by listenning, found out what the underlying need is and made a promise to make it right to the best of your ability.  It is no different to the relationships you have with others.  The more you follow these steps, and follow through on your promises to yourself, the stronger your relationship is going to become.  Chances are that if you have had anxiety and depression for much of  your life, it’s because no one has consistently been there for you, and no one has shown you how to be there for yourself.  You haven’t experienced security in your life or people took advantage of your vulnerability, so changing your relationship with yourself in this way will change all of that for you.

I have conducted so many inner child workshops for individuals and it is without a doubt the work I love most of all.  Watching someone come face to face with their whole selves (pain and all), and watching them make the promise to be there for themselves in the future, never to ignore or abandon themselves ever again, is such a healing and beautiful connection to witness.

Life cannot be the same ever again.  It has to be richer, deeper, juicier and more meaningful because in the place of rejection there is now love and acceptance, understanding and forgiveness.  Through this process a fractured person becomes whole and now has a new benchmark for their relationship with their self and with others.

Please watch this video of these beautiful and talented young ladies, India and Ella (who just happen to be friends with my son) singing Little Me and make the commitment to yourself to be there for you from now on.  If you feel inclined, journal what you would like to say to your “Little Me”.  What does she need to hear from you right now?  What do you need her to hear?

And if you would like more information about an Inner Child Session please contact me here.

I am looking forward to working with you, for you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life in 2016

oooOooo

If you want to jump start your Juicy Life join me on a 21 Day Body Love Challenge starting on Tuesday February 15th.

Go here to get the details and message me if you want any more information.

21daypackage

21-Day Body Love Challenge

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Important links for a Juicy Life in 2016:

Information about

Holistic Counselling and Relationship Coaching.

Read

6 Keys To Happiness

Buy 6 Keys To Happiness

Buy 6 Keys To Happiness

Buy My Juicy Life Journals

(Coming soon)

Are You Ready For 2016 The Year Of The Yang Fire Monkey?

February 8 2016 begins the Chinese New Year which promises to be the beginning of a very interesting year so I thought I would try to squeeze an additional blog post into the new schedule so that you can get your head around what is coming and make the very most of it.

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CLICK HERE NOW to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast #3 Year of the Yang Fire Monkey

NB:  If you don’t have time to read or prefer to listen to it click on the SoundCloud button now and it will take you to the audio version.

You may or may not follow Chinese Astrology or Feng Shui but every year is believed to have it’s own unique energy based on a number of observations and conditions.

2016 is the year of the yang fire monkey so here are some things I personally think we can expect from the next 12 months and some tips for making the very most of the energy coming our way.

Some YANG characteristics include: active, strong, direct, bright, loud, fast and powerful.  Think of the sun.

Some of the characteristics of the FIRE Element include: sharp, fast, destructive, hot and bright.

Some characteristics of the fire MONKEY include: bossy, energetic, creative, fast-paced, very clever and highly competitive.

It is my opinion that we have some very big strong energies coming together hard and fast with a sign that often represents unlimited opportunity and uncanny success, and all this tells me that 2016 is going to be a fast-paced year where many opportunities will present themselves without warning.  There might be some huge clashes of energies in your life, even some explosive events, which might precede these opportunities but they will more than likely burn out quickly, as will the opportunities themselves, as the cheeky but clever monkey moves quickly and successfully from one irresistible challenge or competitive opportunity (shiny thing) to another.

I would suggest that the best way to take advantage of such energy is to BE READY. That means getting clear about what direction you would like to move in over the next few years so that when opportunity presents itself, you will be able to recognise it for what it is, and get on board with it immediately.  This will come much easier to some than it will to others.  I don’t believe you need to know the details, just be honest with yourself about the direction and you will know when the right opportunities present themselves to you.

I encourage you to write down at least one thing in each area of your life that you would like to achieve (want, not feel you should) over the next 24 to 36 months.  Even if you don’t have all the details, when opportunities arise they are either going to be what you are looking for, or not.  Then, be willing to bend in terms of how you think you will get there.  Be open to new avenues and new possibilities. That is what I believe being ready in the year of the yang fire monkey looks like.

In terms of the Feng Shui school of Flying Stars, there will be a sickness energy at the centre of all homes and buildings which can negatively impact health and it will be intensified for the first month.  Reduce this influence by:

  1. Increasing the amount of gold, white and silver in that area by changing soft furnishings and decorations
  2. Reducing any reds,purples or electrical items
  3. And keeping activity to a minimum.

Do the same in the North-East as there will be a challenging energy residing there also.

Take advantage of the favourable energy expected in the south-west by doing the opposite of what is required in the centre.

  1. Decrease gold, white and silver in the area,
  2. Increase reds, purples and fire elements,
  3. And increase activity to increase good fortune in your relationships and in your finances.

There are also favourable energies in the South and South-East which will impact on your reputation and wealth, and all creative types and students will do well to spend time in the West.

I really enjoy learning about Feng Shui and understanding how the subtle energies impact us from day to day, but at the end of the day, some good things will happen for us all this year, and some challenges will arise for us.  It might be more extreme for some than for others, but ups and downs are what life is all about.  That’s the juice of life.  How we perceive those ups and downs, and how we manage ourselves during those times is what makes all the difference to whether we have a juicy life or not.

If you can make time for a space clearing ritual in between the 9th February and the full moon, it will be a very powerful time for setting intentions for the year and for the space or spaces you live and work in.

Also, make sure you get lots of vitamin D this year, exercise regularly, and increase your intake of probiotics to ensure maximum health and physical resilience.

Happy Chinese New Year 2016.  I am so excited to be working with you, for you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life.

oooOooo

If you want to jump start your Juicy Life join me on a 21 Day Body Love Challenge starting on Monday February 15th.  Go here to get the details and message me if you want any more information.

21daypackage

21-Day Body Love Challenge for Women

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Important links for a Juicy Life in 2016:

 

Information about

Holistic Counselling and Relationship Coaching

Individual Counselling

Holistic Counselling and Relationship Coaching Services

Read

6 Keys To Happiness

Buy a copy of 6 Keys to Happiness

Buy a copy of 6 Keys to Happiness

Buy My Juicy Life Journals

(Coming soon)

Why Being Deeply and Madly in Love with You Is So Important and 3 Ways You Can Start Falling for Yourself Today

Hi and Welcome to My Juicy Life Blog.  Because I am making it my business to help women live a richer, Juicier Life in 2016 I thought I would start with my favourite three steps for falling in love with yourself.

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CLICK HERE NOW to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast #2 Three Ways You Can Start Falling For Yourself Today

NB:  If you don’t have time to read or prefer to listen to it click on the SoundCloud button now and it will take you to the audio version.

Now so many people talk about the importance of loving yourself and why you should be doing it, and they are all probably right but I always found personally that anything I wanted to do always had a stronger pull on me than anything  I should do . So I want to give you the information you need that will make you want to fall madly in love yourself?

Very simply, you cannot have a deeply fulfilling, juicy life if you are not deeply and madly in love with yourself, and if you are not deeply and madly in love with yourself then you must be in some degree of pain.  It is one state or another. Think about the parts of you that you do love and think about the joy you get from them.  Now compare that with the parts of you that you don’t love and think about the joy you are not getting from them.  We tend to resist what we don’t love and resistance causes us to stay stuck or go backward in many ways.

Further to that, we really do reap what we sew and if we are feeling meh about ourselves, we are going to put meh energy into everything we do and get meh results bouncing back at us which is going to make us feel more meh.

There is nothing juicy and fulfilling about meh.  Meh is just meh.

So what am I talking about?  What does falling deeply and madly in love with yourself actually mean? I am talking about building and sustaining a spectacular relationship with yourself by becoming conscious of how you think about yourself, how you speak about yourself and what you do for yourself. That means thinking about yourself from a loving, supportive, compassionate and caring perspective.  It means talking about yourself in positive and uplifting ways.  And it means acting lovingly toward yourself.  It means seeing yourself as the star in your own life instead of the co-star of someone else’s life, and it means looking up to yourself as you would someone you truly love and admire and respect.  Imagine having a relationship like that with yourself?  What sort of energy would you bring to you life, to your work and to your other relationships if you felt like this about yourself?  And what sort of Juicy experiences would you sew in turn?

The three ways in which you can start loving yourself today are really guidelines to help you build your relationship and keep your relationship with yourself on the right track.

  1. Know Yourself

To know yourself you need to spend time with yourself, ask yourself great questions and listen to your heartfelt answers, just as you would if you were getting to know someone else.  Spend time journalling every day.  Explore your feelings around different events and circumstances.  Ask yourself how you would like things to be in your life.  Find out what really matters to you with a values exercise.  There are so many ways to explore who you are and scheduling time out for journalling is the best way I know to ensure you have the time and space to really know yourself.  As you get to know yourself I know you won’t be able to help but fall in love with yourself.

2. Love Yourself

Make the decision to love yourself.  Don’t wait for the feelings to show up.  Make the decision that you are going to love yourself no matter how you might feel at any given time and then act from that decision.  Love yourself as a mother loves a challenging child. She might not like that child at times but she will always choose what is in the child’s best interests because she loves him.

As challenging as it might be to start with, I guarantee that the feelings of love you want to have for yourself will show up pretty quickly the more you decide to act from a place of love.

3. Believe in Yourself

One of the greatest gifts of love one person can give to another is to believe in that someone in spite of how they are showing up to life.  Wherever you are right now, however you are feeling about yourself and your life, I encourage you to make the decision to believe in yourself in a way that possibly nobody has ever done for you before.  I am talking about being your own best friend and your own number one fan and making a pact with yourself that you will believe in your ability and your potential like your life depends on it.  I am also talking about no longer waiting for someone else to give you permission to believe in yourself and every time I think about doing this for myself I just want to cry from the deepest part of my being.  There is nothing juicier or more magical than backing yourself and taking a leap of faith in your own name.  It’s a powerful affirmation in action and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to live a Juicier Life in 2016.

If you are craving a rich, juicy and deeply fulfilling relationship with yourself then I highly recommend that you join me on the 21-Day Body Love Challenge which is starting in a couple of weeks.  Simply follow the links below to register for the program.

In my next blog, I will be talking about creating a Juicier Life in 2016 using Feng Shui and what you need to do to make the most of the energies of the Chinese Year of the Yang Fire Monkey.  It is going to be a very interesting year.

Until then I am looking forward to working with you, for you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life in 2016

oooOooo

If you want to jump start your Juicy Life join me on a 21 Day Body Love Challenge starting on Tuesday February 9th.  Go here to get the details and message me if you want any more information.

21daypackage

21-Day Body Love Challenge

oooOooo

 

Important links for a Juicy Life in 2016:

Information about

Holistic Counselling and Relationship Coaching.

Read

6 Keys To Happiness

Buy a copy of 6 Keys to Happiness

Buy a copy of 6 Keys to Happiness

Buy My Juicy Life Journals

(Coming soon)

2016 The Year Of My Juicy Life

The qualities of a rich, Juicy Life include rich, juicy feelings, and the richest, juiciest feelings in the world all stem from the feeling of being in a state of love.

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CLICK HERE NOW to listen to My Juicy Life Podcast #1 2016 Year of My Juicy Life

NB:  If you don’t have time to read this blog you might like to listen to it while you are on the go.  Click on the button to access my audio blog on Soundcloud.  There’s also a mobile app for your phone.

In my practice I work predominantly with women, including single women, women with partners, and women with children.  By the time they come to me they have been so busy being responsible grownups, working hard and taking care of other people, that they haven’t had any time or energy left for the love they crave and what many might consider to be romantic notions.  Even worse, these women are living each day with anxiety and fears around how they are going to make ends meet and continue to keep everyone else happy.  They worry about money, their partner, their weight, their friends, their family, their schedule and so much more.  They might long for more love in their lives but their experience tells them that being in love and living in the real world where bills have to be paid and lunches have to be made are mutually exclusive states of being.

So this year, 2016, my goal and the theme for my business is to provide products and services that really help women to live more fully from their hearts so that they can experience a richer, juicier and much more fulfilling life even while all those other things are going on around them.  It really can be done.

In today’s blog I am going to highlight 5 concepts that have the capacity to change everything for you.  I want you to try each one of them on, see if they fit, and if they ring true for you, explore what sort of a difference they might make in your life if you were to adopt them into your belief system.  Use each concept to question what you are doing, why you are doing it and how you could do it in a way that will work better for you and bring more love and joy into your life.

Concept # 1:  You can’t ignore what’s in your heart.

The difference between living a rich and deeply fulfilled life, and living an empty life filled with fear and uncertainly, is heart.  You may have heard the expression “the heart knows what the heart wants” and if we don’t live by that we are going to be sad.  If the heart wants love and we are not experiencing love we are going to feel empty.  If the heart wants forgiveness and we don’t allow it we are going to feel troubled.  One way or another the heart will let us know we are not on the right track for us and there are a number of reasons why we might not be listening to our heart’s desire so we are going to look deeper into that over the course of the year.  For now, just consider the idea that it is impossible to ignore what lies in your heart.

Concept # 2:  Authenticity is where the gold is.

Authenticity is living in alignment with your heart’s desires.  It is being true to yourself in any moment and honouring what lies at the essence of who you are.  What you feel, what your heart desires, these things are the things that make you who you are and set you apart from everyone else on the planet.  We might want similar things like love and joy and acceptance and acknowledgement but we all want them in unique ways that only we can know.  Being true to yourself doesn’t mean dumping your responsibilities on a whim but it does mean making space for who you are in your own life and making plans to fulfil your unique dreams and desires.  That might seem impossible to you right now but just know that the more authentic you are the richer and more joyful your life will be and over the course of this year we will explore ways in which to achieve that.

Concept # 3:  Our circumstances don’t dictate how we feel.  We do.

Part of our problem when we are not happy is that we are waiting for external conditions to change in order for us be able to be happy.  We are literally waiting for certain conditions to exist before we will allow ourselves permission to feel certain ways.  How many times have you started a sentence with:  I will be happy when…  It doesn’t matter whether you say it out loud or in your head.  The problem is that you think that way and in the process you give power over your emotions to external conditions that may or may not show up for you.

The biggest floor in this thinking lies in the fact that you are more likely to experience the circumstances in life that bring you joy, if you decide to feel joy regardless of whether those circumstances decide to turn up or not.  It’s a catch 22 that might seem ridiculous to you right now but hang around because we are going to be exploring this concept throughout 2016 too.

Concept # 4:  We accept what we think we deserve.

Deservability is a key factor in how we experience our lives.  Pretty simply, if we don’t feel like we deserve something good in our lives, one of three things will happen:

  1. It won’t show up for us
  2. It will show up but we won’t be able or won’t allow ourselves to receive it
  3. It will show up, we will receive it and then we will proceed to either lose it or give it away as fast as we can

Over the course of this year I will be guiding and encouraging you to take a closer look at what is or isn’t showing up for you, what experiences you are or are not allowing, and what you are having trouble keeping in your life.

Concept # 5:  Every feeling is derived from fear or love and neither can be in the same place at the same time.

Everything we feel is either coming from a place of love or a place of fear.  Further to that, it is impossible to create feelings of love while we are feeling fear and it is impossible to experience fear while we are in love.  They simply cannot exist in the same place – your heart – at the same time.  During the course of 2016 I will be encouraging you to explore the origins of many of your thoughts and feelings and re-evaluating their worth in your life today.  For now, just be aware that what you’re feeling in any given moment is coming from one of two places.

Welcome to 2016.  I am looking forward to working with you, for you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life.

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If you want to jump start your Juicy Life join me on a 21 Day Body Love Challenge starting on Tuesday February 9th.  Go here to get the details and message me if you want any more information.

21daypackage

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Important links for a Juicy Life in 2016:

Information about

Holistic Counselling and Relationship Coaching.

Read

6 Keys To Happiness

Buy My Juicy Life Journals (Coming soon)

Exciting News

I wrote a book.

Well, I didn’t exactly write a book, but I did contribute to a book, and then I published it, with the help of my publishing partner Lorna Emblen.

We think it is an amazing book, and I’d love you to know what it’s all about so you can decide if it is the sort of book that might appeal to you.  Or maybe it is just what a friend or loved one needs to read right now.

 

Domestic Detox is a collection of personal stories. A testimony to cleaner living and the thought processes and lifestyle changes behind cleaning your act up. In this compilation you will find the honesty from the contributors moving and their tenacity powerful. Every story is an individual recount of each person’s path to cleaner living and the reasons they began their journey. They speak candidly about their children and their families and give a run down on why, how and when these changes occurred.

If you have been wondering about the various ways in which some very common ingredients in foods, in personal care products and in household products, can and do impact our physical and mental health, then this composition will guide you through some of the real life adventures of how people eliminate many of these dangers and make these changes happen.

Every author who has contributed to Domestic Detox has a unique and inspiring story to tell about his or her own experiences and how they overcame their personal set of challenges.

Some of those challenges include:

  • Childhood Behavioural issues
  • Learning and development
  • Mood disorders
  • Chronic illnesses
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Gut and Digestive issues
  • Reproductive issues
  • Auto-immune disease
  • Hyperactivity and Attention issues
  • Sleep imbalances
  • Reduced tolerance levels
  • Respiratory issues

The list is endless.

Each author also offers some amazing insights and tips on how to live cleaner, greener and healthier lives that support happier and healthier families.

Is this publication for you, you may ask.

In short, yes.

Are you a mum or dad? Unmarried or happily hitched? A spring chicken or gracefully aging?  Domestic Detox has something for everyone. You don’t have to live with many of the conditions mentioned above.  Life really can change for the better when you learn how to identify and eliminate those common chemicals.

Please share this journey with us and become a part of the growing global movement of cleaner, greener and chemical free lifestylers. We know our families thank us and yours will too.

I know after reading that you can’t wait to get your own copy so here’s the link.

Domestic Detox

I’d love to know what you think of it 🙂

 

A New Work Space

It is so important to be living and working in an environment that inspires you and enhances your experience of each moment that you spend in that environment.

Asking yourself what you want to achieve in each space of your home or office is a great start.  Bedrooms, bathrooms and kitchens have obvious purposes but if you ask yourself how you want to experience each space, it will help you to know how you want to decorate and place your furniture within those spaces.

We have recently renovated my workspace and I am so much more excited to be working from there that I wanted to share some pics.

Foyer    longshot My chair  

sofa + shelves2 seater

What can you do in your space that will give you a lift and improve your outlook on life?

Does diet have an impact on our mental health?

Does diet have an impact on our mental health?

Yes.  Absolutely.  You bet it does.  The things we put into our body alter our biochemistry and definitely have an impact on how we think, and on how we feel emotionally.

I recently decided to stop buying ‘treats’ for myself.  More specifically, I had decided not to buy CHOCOLATE ‘treats’.  It was my New Year’s Resolutions for 2014, and unlike previous years, when I might have resolved to change my entire life overnight with the inevitable outcome of an epic fail, and the subsequent diminishing of my self-esteem, I simply chose something that I thought would stretch me, in a direction that I thought would benefit me, but without being so ridiculous that I could never achieve it.

If I’d resolved not to EAT any ‘treats’ I would not have lasted the first few days, when my habit of looking for them still lingered.  But I only resolved not to BUY them, which meant I was still able to ‘indulge’ in other sweet food items if I wanted.

After a couple of days, however, I simply stopped looking for food unless I was hungry, and because I hadn’t bought myself any ‘treats’, I was feeding myself with more nutritional options and feeling much more satisfied.

It has been a month now and a few things have happened that I have found very interesting.

First thing I noticed was when I had 4-5 jersey caramels at about the 3 week mark, and woke up during the next couple of nights with terrible anxiety, and was very restless, so I know now for myself, without a doubt, that sugar impacts terribly on my emotions, and if I hadn’t minimised my exposure to it, I might not have realised just how much it was impacting.

Food anti-anxiety drug

Secondly, I used to think that stopping yourself from eating what you wanted was a form of deprivation, but I have come to realise it is a gift that you give to yourself, and that you are more, not less, because of it.

Thirdly, I have learned that the things I have always called ‘treats’ are in fact definitely NOT ‘treats’.  Instead they are empty, calorie-laden, food-like substances that impact on our physical and emotional state of being in a very negative way.  Eating processed snack foods is not ‘treating’ yourself.  It is actually hurting yourself.  Since when has it been a ‘treat’ to hurt ourselves?

Finally, I realised that ‘treating’ myself was serving two very important purposes.  One purpose was to self-soothe and the other purpose was to reward myself.  I am so glad I realise that because now that I have these new perceptions, I have new choices, and I can’t wait to see how the rest of the year goes.

If you are experiencing anxiety and / or depression and you are struggling to manage it, I challenge you to reduce your exposure to processed ‘treats’.  See them for what they really are and make the decision to replace them with foods that nourish your body as well as your emotions.

If I can help in any way, you know where to find me.

 

Do You Know HOW TO Build Self Esteem?

Most of us have a good idea of what Self Esteem is.   It’s the name we give to the way we feel about ourselves, the way we measure what we think is our worth, or the way in which we regard ourselves.

We tend to have low self esteem when we don’t like ourselves, and when we don’t feel we are acceptable.  On the other hand, we tend to have high self esteem when we think we are pretty good and believe that we have something of value to offer to the world.

When I ask people for a step by step plan for building a healthy self esteem, however, most don’t have a clue where to start, which tells me that self esteem for many people happens entirely by accident and at the unconscious discretion of parents or caregivers.

Clearly, that works well for some, but not so well for others.

 thinking pic 2

One of the simplest definitions I have heard to date regarding the development of self esteem came from Dr Phil McGraw.  He said that when we see ourselves consistently acting in ways that please us, we come to like and respect ourselves, and as a result, we develop self esteem.

When we realise that we have the skills that regularly bring success to us, when we create things that work, when we achieve goals, when we meet our own expectations and achieve great results through our actions, the good thoughts we have about ourselves are reinforced and validated.

This is even true if we have developed negative beliefs about ourselves through our childhood.  We can undo these beliefs by literally proving them wrong before our very eyes, and watching ourselves do that helps us to real-eyes that we are more worthy than we might have first thought.

I would add, however, that it is very important to be honest about what pleases us, and sincerely seek our own approval (self esteem) rather than seek approval from someone else (external esteem).  

How can we be sure we are seeking our own approval?  A simple values exercise will help with that.

By getting clear about what we value, and being sure that the values that are influencing our decisions and driving our actions are our own values, we develop a stronger sense of self, and from there, the opportunity for a healthier self esteem is greater.

If building self esteem is important to you right now, and you would like help working out what your personal values, or If you want to make an appointment to seek further support in another area of your life, contact me.