In today’s blog I want to look at the way in which we approach the unfair circumstances in life and I am asking the question are you a learner or a loser.
It sounds harsh, I know but if you have ever had a situation in life where you have been treated unfairly, or you have seen someone you know treated unfairly, or if you are one of those people who gets angry at the all too many news reports of someone being treated unfairly and if you feel passionate about correcting the wrongs in this world then this question is definitely for you.
I know so many people who really worry about rules and doing the right thing, making sure that the rules are the same for everyone and when rules are broken, making sure that justice is restored. I used to be one of them. Hey, if everyone just followed the rules, peace would be restored to our worlds and we would all be able to sleep better at nights, right?
That may well be true, but the fact of the matter is that life is often unfair, that people often disregard, bend or break the rules and it seems to be the more vulnerable people in life that end up being treated most unfairly.
History and television are both full of stories of lives that have been consumed by the drive to right the wrongs and sometimes there is a just outcome, but often there isn’t, and the injustice is enough to drive some people crazy.
Whether it is a healthy person parking in a disabled car park, a teacher giving consequences to one student but not to another for the same behaviour, or whether it is big business like the coal seam gas companies or one of the big banks bullying individuals into unacceptable circumstances because they can, injustice is injustice and it is a part of life.
So today I wanted to offer a way in which to process through an unfair situation as quickly and as effectively as possible because believe it or not, being stuck in the “unfairness” injustice is often a far worse experience than actually accepting it and getting on with it.
Here are 3 things you can do to get unstuck if you feel yourself getting sucked into an unfair situation:
- Know that there are wining experiences and learning experiences. Sometimes we win and sometimes we have to learn and while we might feel like a failure or a loser in a given situation, we have a choice right here, and we can only lose if we choose to stay stuck.
2. Ask yourself, can I change this situation? Be honest about your answer here. Wanting to change something and being able to change something are two different things. And, you may be able to change something but you need to factor in the cost of doing so before you decide whether or not to move in this direction. If it is a big injustice, losing your mind, your family and/or your life’s savings might be too great a cost to pay to correct it.
3. If you can’t change a situation, ask yourself how you can either remove yourself from the situation or deal with it as quickly and painlessly as possible. You have to consider every area of your life – your health, finances, relationships, future prospects. Once you have chosen your path forward then go back to the emotional intelligence model to work out exactly how you feel and what you need in order to regulate and sooth your feelings so that you can move on.
Staying stuck in injustice is so debilitating and it really sucks the life out of you – emotionally and physically at least.
Know that if you have children, or you are a role model for others, you will be doing them a favour if you can model a healthy, realistic response to an unfair situation because they will need to learn how to deal with the life they have, not the perfectly fair life we would want for them.
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I look forward to working with you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life in 2016