Self-worth and self-esteem are very similar and both have an enormous impact on how we go through life. Women, young and old, are constantly bombarded with images of how we are supposed to look and act, and depending on the measuring stick we choose to use to determine our self-worth, we can easily find ourselves feeling really down and out because we feel worthless and unappreciated as we are.
There seems to be constant pressure to be better, be prettier, be slimmer, be smarter, look younger, be more savvy, be a better mum, have better kids, be a sexier partner, be a better daughter, earn more money, stretch the budget further, have a cleaner home, have a better home in a better suburb, drive a newer car, and the list goes on and on.
Is it any wonder so many people don’t feel good enough? And to add insult to injury, we don’t just beat ourselves up for not being good enough, we do it to other women.
It’s exhausting trying to keep up with all of that and every time we measure ourselves against all of that and we come up short we are in danger of our self-worth and self-esteem being eroded further and further which is so damaging.
Today I wanted to look at how we develop self-worth and give you 3 ways in which you can develop yours so that you can stop feeling miserable and start feeling better about who you are right away.
When I talk about self-worth I am talking about the value you place on yourself as a person and in all of the roles you play in your life.
Self-esteem is how I feel about myself and when I see myself as being valuable and valued I have a good sense of self-worth and I am more likely to like and feel good about myself which increases my self-esteem.
Knowing the difference between self-worth and self-esteem gives us a clearer place to start when we decide we want to feel better about ourselves and about the lives we are living and here are 3 things you can do to start that process today:
- Create your own measuring stick based on your own values and not on the values society and your family and friends hold.
A great place to start with this is to do a simple Values Exercise to determine your own set of values. You can also do a “Should vs Could” Exercise where you list everything you think you should be, do or have then go back over your list and question why you are not already being, doing or having those things. If you are not motivated to complete something on your ‘should’ list, question how important it is to you and if possible eliminate anything that no longer holds any value for you. There is no such thing as laziness only varying degrees of motivation.
2. Be realistic when you are passing judgment on yourself.
If you are good at something own it. Modesty is a word often used to keep people in their place. If you are not good at something be realistic about why. It won’t be because you are not good enough. It will be because you haven’t got the right skills yet or because you haven’t given it the right amount of time or effort or because conditions haven’t been favourable. Or it is because what you think you should be, do or have is a physical impossibility.
As Einstein apparently said: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Don’t do that to yourself.
3. Believe in yourself and back yourself in building your worth.
Start by speaking kindly to yourself. Decide where you would like to make improvements based on your own measuring stick, plan how you are going to achieve the results you want and then set yourself up to succeed. Be your own teacher and give yourself room to learn. Many things that matter take effort so don’t give up when things don’t fall into place immediately. Do what you need to do and trust that you are worth it. Before you know it you will see for yourself that you truly are worth it.
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I look forward to working with you and alongside you while you create your very own Juicy Life.